Well, I figured I’d invoke a bit of spontaneity and drop in a little blurb unexpectedly. Seems like someone should pick up the slack **nudge nudge**
It’s been quite a summer, travelling lots, not far mind you, but cumbersome with all the packing, practically every second weekend. I must say, despite it being so hectic, with the working, packing, bussing, visiting, reveling, bussing, unpacking, working and doing it all over again, it’s been one of my most enjoyable summers in a very long time – probably since I lived in the country. And you’d think with all the travelling and get up and go I had, that I might have shed a pound or two perhaps. Well, folks, sorry to say, but after my little shopping spree last evening, and going home with absolutely nothing to don on myself, methinks it’s high time to start a little program of my own. Apparently those free little advice tips you find online every once and a while telling you just how many calories are in a beer, may just hold a bit of weight (pardon the punny).
I’ve never been really that big, I guess size 12 – oh I know, for my height I really should be about 25 pounds lighter, but really, I do carry it well. At least my friends don’t tell me I’m obese. But after last night, obese is exactly how I felt. Not only was I not asked at the clothing store if I might need some help, but I ended up walking out of there feeling like I just walked in and out of a store designed for pygmies. My goal was a fall jacket. Medium is what I used to take, so okay, maybe large. But when the XL wouldn’t even button around my waist I got so frustrated I ended up walking out of the stores literally with tears in my eyes. How did this happen? Was I really awake or was it just another nightmare? And to think – I was just about ready to start dating again dammit!
Well, I’m on another road trip this weekend, and I promise it will be my final hurrah. A new season is just around the corner, and with new seasons come fresh attitudes. A little bit of moderation & calorie counting, here I come, and just maybe I’ll fit into that XL before fall is over.
Friday, September 18, 2009
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Exercise Classes - Your Rhythm or Blues?
Why do some people have rhythm and others do not? I personally fall into the second category. Well not so much as into that category, more like below it. To say I do not have rhythm is darn near a compliment. I really don’t understand why some are blessed with the ease of coordination and the flow of dancing. And then there are those such as myself that apparently have two left feet. I prefer not to think of it as an intellectual issue because certainly less intelligent people have been known to have the ability to groove down as well as the brilliant beings that don’t have a move to grove at all. What I do know is that it’s very obvious when one lacks the necessary coordination to carry out certain tasks. All of this comes to mind because yesterday when I was at my cycling spin class at the gym, this is what I observed:
As I was perched upon my stationary spinning bike, I was diligently following all of the directions from the teacher. She was shouting “faster, faster you can make it up this incline” (of course there was no incline, we were indoors in a gym on these odd little bikes, but with the tension turned up it feels like a massive hill) the music was blasting. She continued to push us, to make us work harder; “Peddle harder, stay strong, you can do it, only ninety more seconds” (I guess ninety seconds sounds more encouraging than it’s just another minute and a half). My heart was pounding, I was breathless, my legs were burning from the intensity. As I was peddling faster and faster my imagination slowly lifted me into another dimension. For a brief moment I thought I was in Kansas or perhaps ET had possessed my body. I swear I had lifted off the ground and was observing my world from an entirely new angle. Actually, the cycling room is on the second floor and one wall has all windows overlooking two racquetball courts below that have been converted into one very large fitness room.
I looked down and saw this aerobic class in progress, I could not hear anything, it was all visual. I was watching them step up on the step, back down, turn around, jump three times. Step to the left. Step to the right. Touch your toes. Step on the step, step down, turn left, turn right. I was mesmerized. There were at least twenty people in the class and I’ll be damned if every one of them was in perfect sync with each other. How the hell did they do that? Was this some professional aerobic class? How come nobody was turning the wrong way or bumping into the next person? That happened every time I tried one of those classes. Let me clarify, that is what I did every time I took one of those classes. And I have tried these classes more times than I can count. As I was peddling away on my bike I continued to watch them. It appeared that everyone was truly enjoying the exercise class and no one was getting hurt from the person beside them.
I think I would be a much thinner person if I had any sense of rhythm. I say this because so many exercises I have tried are just too damn difficult for me. The teacher says left, but I move right because that is what I see when I am watching her as she is facing the class. Then there are all those mirrors, wall to wall mirrors. I understand why, but is it really necessary? Us chunkier gals with no coordination could certainly get a much better workout if we did not have to see our silly grinning, backwards stepping faces every time we turned around. It is absurd.
Let me tell you, I am not kidding when I write that I have tried so many of these various classes. Just to name a few - kick boxing, step, beginning step, basic step, just abs, circuit classes, cross fit, fun & fit, all of them so challenging with the music/exercise I just got overwhelmed and quit. For someone with already borderline low self esteem/body image issues, this is not a good place to be. I have not tried and would not even consider; Boot fitness – here is the description – A class incorporating balance, strength and cardio training. Come and join this challenging workout. The description alone makes me break into a sweat, does that count? Here’s another good one I would not consider; Athletic Step. Ready? A little Choreography and high intensity, powerful movement on the step. Now I know any description that includes choreography is immediately out of my league, not to mention the title has the word athletic in it. No need for me to further describe how challenging and disastrous either of those would be for me. Talk about a blow to self esteem.
Lucky for me that I am persistent and understand that I must be active or I will be overweight. By the time I get to work every day, I have not even exerted myself enough to burn fifty calories. I then sit on my ass for at least eight to nine hours with little or no activity, except my fingers tapping on my computer. The lack of activity adds up quickly and accumulates right in my belly. Therefore I must find activities that I can do AND enjoy. Okay well maybe enjoy is stretching it a bit. Exercise I am capable of doing without hurting anyone else or myself. Actually I have settled in on a few, but boy would it be nice to have all the other options too. I just read an interview with Brooke Shields, she said that "she enjoys working out much more after than during." Wow, could I relate to that. Here is a list of what I can do; running and walking, even while listening to my IPod so I guess that’s something to be grateful for. Then on a very limited basis- yoga and pilates (as long as they go slow and I do not look at myself in the mirror). One glance in the mirror and I could tip right over Again, I certainly would not want to hurt people in this class. Aqua aerobics because ninety percent of my motion is underwater so nobody but me knows what’s really going on. Besides the music is washed out over the motion of the water so I can focus on the movements. I can do my own individual work outs with the weights (machines mostly) combined with the treadmill, rowing machine and bikes but I have a tendency to not push myself as hard when it is just me. And then of course my spin class. Oh my god I am in a spin class, as I come back to reality.
“Go! Go! Come on you can do it, only ninety seconds left of our workout! PUSH, PUSH AS HARD AS YOU CAN!” Woo Whoo, as I flashed back, that was the quickest workout I have done yet. I like spin class. It’s easy, you need no rhythm, I’ve yet to hurt anyone and there is someone pushing you to push way beyond your comfort zone. It’s my personal favorite.
NOTE TO SELF: Do what you can do to keep active!
As I was perched upon my stationary spinning bike, I was diligently following all of the directions from the teacher. She was shouting “faster, faster you can make it up this incline” (of course there was no incline, we were indoors in a gym on these odd little bikes, but with the tension turned up it feels like a massive hill) the music was blasting. She continued to push us, to make us work harder; “Peddle harder, stay strong, you can do it, only ninety more seconds” (I guess ninety seconds sounds more encouraging than it’s just another minute and a half). My heart was pounding, I was breathless, my legs were burning from the intensity. As I was peddling faster and faster my imagination slowly lifted me into another dimension. For a brief moment I thought I was in Kansas or perhaps ET had possessed my body. I swear I had lifted off the ground and was observing my world from an entirely new angle. Actually, the cycling room is on the second floor and one wall has all windows overlooking two racquetball courts below that have been converted into one very large fitness room.
I looked down and saw this aerobic class in progress, I could not hear anything, it was all visual. I was watching them step up on the step, back down, turn around, jump three times. Step to the left. Step to the right. Touch your toes. Step on the step, step down, turn left, turn right. I was mesmerized. There were at least twenty people in the class and I’ll be damned if every one of them was in perfect sync with each other. How the hell did they do that? Was this some professional aerobic class? How come nobody was turning the wrong way or bumping into the next person? That happened every time I tried one of those classes. Let me clarify, that is what I did every time I took one of those classes. And I have tried these classes more times than I can count. As I was peddling away on my bike I continued to watch them. It appeared that everyone was truly enjoying the exercise class and no one was getting hurt from the person beside them.
I think I would be a much thinner person if I had any sense of rhythm. I say this because so many exercises I have tried are just too damn difficult for me. The teacher says left, but I move right because that is what I see when I am watching her as she is facing the class. Then there are all those mirrors, wall to wall mirrors. I understand why, but is it really necessary? Us chunkier gals with no coordination could certainly get a much better workout if we did not have to see our silly grinning, backwards stepping faces every time we turned around. It is absurd.
Let me tell you, I am not kidding when I write that I have tried so many of these various classes. Just to name a few - kick boxing, step, beginning step, basic step, just abs, circuit classes, cross fit, fun & fit, all of them so challenging with the music/exercise I just got overwhelmed and quit. For someone with already borderline low self esteem/body image issues, this is not a good place to be. I have not tried and would not even consider; Boot fitness – here is the description – A class incorporating balance, strength and cardio training. Come and join this challenging workout. The description alone makes me break into a sweat, does that count? Here’s another good one I would not consider; Athletic Step. Ready? A little Choreography and high intensity, powerful movement on the step. Now I know any description that includes choreography is immediately out of my league, not to mention the title has the word athletic in it. No need for me to further describe how challenging and disastrous either of those would be for me. Talk about a blow to self esteem.
Lucky for me that I am persistent and understand that I must be active or I will be overweight. By the time I get to work every day, I have not even exerted myself enough to burn fifty calories. I then sit on my ass for at least eight to nine hours with little or no activity, except my fingers tapping on my computer. The lack of activity adds up quickly and accumulates right in my belly. Therefore I must find activities that I can do AND enjoy. Okay well maybe enjoy is stretching it a bit. Exercise I am capable of doing without hurting anyone else or myself. Actually I have settled in on a few, but boy would it be nice to have all the other options too. I just read an interview with Brooke Shields, she said that "she enjoys working out much more after than during." Wow, could I relate to that. Here is a list of what I can do; running and walking, even while listening to my IPod so I guess that’s something to be grateful for. Then on a very limited basis- yoga and pilates (as long as they go slow and I do not look at myself in the mirror). One glance in the mirror and I could tip right over Again, I certainly would not want to hurt people in this class. Aqua aerobics because ninety percent of my motion is underwater so nobody but me knows what’s really going on. Besides the music is washed out over the motion of the water so I can focus on the movements. I can do my own individual work outs with the weights (machines mostly) combined with the treadmill, rowing machine and bikes but I have a tendency to not push myself as hard when it is just me. And then of course my spin class. Oh my god I am in a spin class, as I come back to reality.
“Go! Go! Come on you can do it, only ninety seconds left of our workout! PUSH, PUSH AS HARD AS YOU CAN!” Woo Whoo, as I flashed back, that was the quickest workout I have done yet. I like spin class. It’s easy, you need no rhythm, I’ve yet to hurt anyone and there is someone pushing you to push way beyond your comfort zone. It’s my personal favorite.
NOTE TO SELF: Do what you can do to keep active!
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Jumping Hurdles - How High Are Yours?
I had another 1.4 pound weight lost this week! I have made it over my first big hurdle, the ten pound mark. Wooo Whooo! I have twenty five pounds to go to my goal weight. It may be a long slow process, but I am confident it will happen in due time, again! Oh how I love those hurdles.
Apparently, at my average stature of 5’4” I like hurdles. I like jumping over hurdles, whether they be clutter , weight, money , fitness or time management hurdles. If I have jumped it once, I have jumped it again and again. These aren’t just random hurdles that life puts before me. No siree, these are hurdles I place in my own life. They are my personal huddles. I seem to very strategically place them throughout my life so I am constantly trying to get over them. Why? That is a fantastic question to ask myself. Hum, why not get over the hurdle and keep looking forward? Instead of looking back, grabbing that hurdle I thought I just mastered and then reset it smack in front of myself? Right there in my very own future? Geez, I think I mentioned in an earlier post, that there was a good chance you would feel better about yourself after reading my personal insights. How are you feeling now?
If I seriously ask myself the question, why the same hurdles over and over? I think I would have to say “it’s because I truly have not mastered that hurdle, YET.” Once I honestly evaluate the hurdles, I find that each time the hurdle is a bit lower. It is easier and quicker to get over. Eventually that hurdles is eliminated. A good example is smoking. I was a smoker. I loved to smoke. I quit smoking fifty times before I became a non-smoker. That hurdle is no longer in front of me. Another hurdle was being organized. That was another big one for me. Slowly from trial and error, I have just about mastered that one. You seldom will walk into my home and see everything strewed all over the place in an attempt to organize myself, my life.
So for now, I am still jumping some of the same hurdles. Most prominent in my life today is the weight hurdle. I got over the big ten pound mark and my hurdle just got lower. I accept that jumping my personal hurdles equal my personal growth. Sometimes it will be the same hurdles. Sometimes there may be some new ones too. And then there will be times I am just on the straight stretch.
NOTE TO SELF: Keep jumping and eventually you’ll land firm on both feet!
Apparently, at my average stature of 5’4” I like hurdles. I like jumping over hurdles, whether they be clutter , weight, money , fitness or time management hurdles. If I have jumped it once, I have jumped it again and again. These aren’t just random hurdles that life puts before me. No siree, these are hurdles I place in my own life. They are my personal huddles. I seem to very strategically place them throughout my life so I am constantly trying to get over them. Why? That is a fantastic question to ask myself. Hum, why not get over the hurdle and keep looking forward? Instead of looking back, grabbing that hurdle I thought I just mastered and then reset it smack in front of myself? Right there in my very own future? Geez, I think I mentioned in an earlier post, that there was a good chance you would feel better about yourself after reading my personal insights. How are you feeling now?
If I seriously ask myself the question, why the same hurdles over and over? I think I would have to say “it’s because I truly have not mastered that hurdle, YET.” Once I honestly evaluate the hurdles, I find that each time the hurdle is a bit lower. It is easier and quicker to get over. Eventually that hurdles is eliminated. A good example is smoking. I was a smoker. I loved to smoke. I quit smoking fifty times before I became a non-smoker. That hurdle is no longer in front of me. Another hurdle was being organized. That was another big one for me. Slowly from trial and error, I have just about mastered that one. You seldom will walk into my home and see everything strewed all over the place in an attempt to organize myself, my life.
So for now, I am still jumping some of the same hurdles. Most prominent in my life today is the weight hurdle. I got over the big ten pound mark and my hurdle just got lower. I accept that jumping my personal hurdles equal my personal growth. Sometimes it will be the same hurdles. Sometimes there may be some new ones too. And then there will be times I am just on the straight stretch.
NOTE TO SELF: Keep jumping and eventually you’ll land firm on both feet!
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Do You Buy Your Veggies AND Eat Them Too?
Grocery shopping. As much as I love food, you would think this is one of my favorite activities. NOT! When I head into the market I always go in with the best of intentions. I think that if I buy only lots and lots of fresh healthy food, I will only eat healthy, fresh food. I never anticipate that I will let the fresh fruit and vegetables spoil because I made a hundred excuses why not to prepare them. Guess what I always eat first? The one product that will probably last four months in the fridge. The cheese. Oh how I love my cheese. What’s worse is this is not a new pattern. It has been going on for ages. It’s like every trip to the grocery store is a brand new experience. A fresh start on making better food choices, so let’s buy lots of fresh, perishable foods. So I buy the food and make excuses why not to cook or eat them. Oh the guilt and don’t think I don’t hear my mother’s voice – “There are starving children all over the world, now eat your veggies!”
Also, I think every shopping trip is the last one for the next several weeks so I buy excessively. (It’s clearly that same issue of moderation or lack there of). I crack myself up because as I am putting stacks of lettuce, beans, bell peppers tomatoes, cilantro, etc. I know it is not going to last. I am fully aware that it would be impossible to eat everything before it spoils. I would have to be feeding all of Jon and Kate’s plus eight plus their dates and the entire staff too, maybe even the whole damn network in order to not be wasteful.
It’s bad enough that I am an excessive food shopper; I am also a peeping cart watcher. I enjoy peeking into other shopper’s carts. I love to see what food choices they made. God forbid I may have I missed a goodie on special. I am so fascinated with the psychology of humans; I certainly made the wrong career choice. Of course, then I am ashamed to admit how judgmental I am of other peoples shopping choices. I get ticked off when I see some skinny gal pushing a cart loaded with all my favorites such as, numerous types and flavors of breads, all the cheese groups, wine, pastas and a few chocolates too. How dare her! Then there is the one that isn’t skinny and has not one healthy food in her cart. I silently mutter something to myself. I am embarrassed to admit how shallow I can, but truthful too. (Another posting in the works)
Actually since starting this “self-discovery” journey, I have become aware of my shopping habits. And with lots of effort, I really have made significant progress. Wastefulness is not in line with many of my goals. So, I now pretend I am only shopping for three meals in five days. Occasionally I hit the Farmer’s Market. Surprisingly it works! I have cut back tremendously on the waste and I still do not need to shop any more frequently. Apparently, I can use the food in my cupboards to prepare more meals. Let me tell you it takes some serious practice and discipline to not put every colorful piece of fruit into my cart and sometimes I have to make another loop in the store to put items back. As far as the being a cart peeper, well that’s still another story.
NOTE TO SELF: Mind your own business in the market!
Also, I think every shopping trip is the last one for the next several weeks so I buy excessively. (It’s clearly that same issue of moderation or lack there of). I crack myself up because as I am putting stacks of lettuce, beans, bell peppers tomatoes, cilantro, etc. I know it is not going to last. I am fully aware that it would be impossible to eat everything before it spoils. I would have to be feeding all of Jon and Kate’s plus eight plus their dates and the entire staff too, maybe even the whole damn network in order to not be wasteful.
It’s bad enough that I am an excessive food shopper; I am also a peeping cart watcher. I enjoy peeking into other shopper’s carts. I love to see what food choices they made. God forbid I may have I missed a goodie on special. I am so fascinated with the psychology of humans; I certainly made the wrong career choice. Of course, then I am ashamed to admit how judgmental I am of other peoples shopping choices. I get ticked off when I see some skinny gal pushing a cart loaded with all my favorites such as, numerous types and flavors of breads, all the cheese groups, wine, pastas and a few chocolates too. How dare her! Then there is the one that isn’t skinny and has not one healthy food in her cart. I silently mutter something to myself. I am embarrassed to admit how shallow I can, but truthful too. (Another posting in the works)
Actually since starting this “self-discovery” journey, I have become aware of my shopping habits. And with lots of effort, I really have made significant progress. Wastefulness is not in line with many of my goals. So, I now pretend I am only shopping for three meals in five days. Occasionally I hit the Farmer’s Market. Surprisingly it works! I have cut back tremendously on the waste and I still do not need to shop any more frequently. Apparently, I can use the food in my cupboards to prepare more meals. Let me tell you it takes some serious practice and discipline to not put every colorful piece of fruit into my cart and sometimes I have to make another loop in the store to put items back. As far as the being a cart peeper, well that’s still another story.
NOTE TO SELF: Mind your own business in the market!
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Your Own Best Friend or Worst Critic?
This morning as I was pouring my first cup of coffee, I stood looking out my kitchen window . I was watching the sunrise, well not really the sun rising because there was such thick morning fog outside I could barely see across the street. I was actually just seeing it become daylight and anyhow my kitchen window faces north, but you get the idea. I was reflecting back on how all of a sudden this week has taken a huge turn. I was so right on track and then, BOOM I am back to a self destructive eating pattern. I think it was the fear of getting close to meeting a goal (ten pounds) . And let’s be real, it’s not really a pattern as it has only been a few days. It’s more of an out of control issue.
Then I had to stop and think about all the challenges and obstacles I have overcome throughout my life. Yes, it is true I probably am the biggest obstacle in my own life. Hey, that’s okay because it means I continually challenge myself. I never give up on the notion that I can just try again. Here is an excerpt from an article I wrote eight or nine years ago:
I’ll never forget that beautiful summer day when I was driving down the steep, winding, mountain road. I had the windows rolled down and the warm fresh air was blowing against my face. I was singing out loud along with the radio. The view of valley below was breathtaking. There was a sea of evergreen trees as far as I could see. As I was speeding along I smiled realizing my personal victory. I began laughing as I was weeping tears of joy. I began shouting, I’m free, I’m free! I felt like I was on top of the world and I have driven myself there.
You see, I had been suffering from an anxiety disorder which caused me to have severe panic attacks while driving. For the last few years the panic attacks kept me confined to less than a seven mile radius from my home. But at that very moment when I realized I was driving with much ease, I knew my long difficult, agonizing bout with panic attacks had taken a new direction.
How would your life be effected if suddenly you were terrified to stand in line at the grocery store? Or perhaps ever time you started to drive on the highway you were overwhelmed with dizziness and fear. What if you were frightened beyond your control to go to the shopping mall? What if you woke up in the middle of the night with all the symptoms of a heart attack, you call 911 but no heart attack happenes , just your imagination. This may sound ridiculous or unbelievable, but sadly it is a true illness. The National Institute of Mental Health reports panic disorder strikes between three and six million Americans and is twice as common in women as in men.
Margaret Thatcher once said, “You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it”. How very true this is. More than once I felt defeated, beaten down and destined to be confined by my own fears. However I was determined to win this battle no matter how long it took or how difficult it was.
And I did. Approximately a year after this driving success, I packed up and moved to Los Angeles. I drove every day on the freeway. Could there be a better city with extensive traffic to take on the fear of freeway driving? Today I can honestly say I am grateful for my experiences with an anxiety disorder. I will never forget the fear and panic I once lived with day to day. I transformed my anxiety to work for me not against me. It serves as a constant reminder that I am the one that controls my own life, not circumstances nor situations. I have learned that within myself lie the necessary tools and strength of my own happiness and freedom. Although, apparently there are many days I forget to acknowledge my successes. I guess I really need to lighten up on myself. Relax and keep reminding myself of my accomplishments and successes I have achieved.
NOTE TO SELF: "Until you make peace with who you are, you’ll never be content with what you have." Doris Mortman
Then I had to stop and think about all the challenges and obstacles I have overcome throughout my life. Yes, it is true I probably am the biggest obstacle in my own life. Hey, that’s okay because it means I continually challenge myself. I never give up on the notion that I can just try again. Here is an excerpt from an article I wrote eight or nine years ago:
I’ll never forget that beautiful summer day when I was driving down the steep, winding, mountain road. I had the windows rolled down and the warm fresh air was blowing against my face. I was singing out loud along with the radio. The view of valley below was breathtaking. There was a sea of evergreen trees as far as I could see. As I was speeding along I smiled realizing my personal victory. I began laughing as I was weeping tears of joy. I began shouting, I’m free, I’m free! I felt like I was on top of the world and I have driven myself there.
You see, I had been suffering from an anxiety disorder which caused me to have severe panic attacks while driving. For the last few years the panic attacks kept me confined to less than a seven mile radius from my home. But at that very moment when I realized I was driving with much ease, I knew my long difficult, agonizing bout with panic attacks had taken a new direction.
How would your life be effected if suddenly you were terrified to stand in line at the grocery store? Or perhaps ever time you started to drive on the highway you were overwhelmed with dizziness and fear. What if you were frightened beyond your control to go to the shopping mall? What if you woke up in the middle of the night with all the symptoms of a heart attack, you call 911 but no heart attack happenes , just your imagination. This may sound ridiculous or unbelievable, but sadly it is a true illness. The National Institute of Mental Health reports panic disorder strikes between three and six million Americans and is twice as common in women as in men.
Margaret Thatcher once said, “You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it”. How very true this is. More than once I felt defeated, beaten down and destined to be confined by my own fears. However I was determined to win this battle no matter how long it took or how difficult it was.
And I did. Approximately a year after this driving success, I packed up and moved to Los Angeles. I drove every day on the freeway. Could there be a better city with extensive traffic to take on the fear of freeway driving? Today I can honestly say I am grateful for my experiences with an anxiety disorder. I will never forget the fear and panic I once lived with day to day. I transformed my anxiety to work for me not against me. It serves as a constant reminder that I am the one that controls my own life, not circumstances nor situations. I have learned that within myself lie the necessary tools and strength of my own happiness and freedom. Although, apparently there are many days I forget to acknowledge my successes. I guess I really need to lighten up on myself. Relax and keep reminding myself of my accomplishments and successes I have achieved.
NOTE TO SELF: "Until you make peace with who you are, you’ll never be content with what you have." Doris Mortman
Sunday, July 19, 2009
MOTIVATION 1,2,3 - What' Your Source?
I’m doing the happy dance. I’m doing the haaaappy dance! I did it! I could not believe my eyes today when I stepped on the scale and I was down another 1.4 pounds. That puts me at 9 pounds in four weeks. OMG, I could hit the ten pound mark next week. I am so proud of myself; I went on a vacation, indulged, enjoyed and keep my goal in mind when choosing activities and it paid off! I felt no deprivation, I simply made better choices.
As I am enjoying my successes I have to stop and think, “What’s my source of motivation and how to do I keep tapping into it?” Getting motivated is easy. Staying motivated, well that’s a whole new ball game. The key word is NOT motivation, it is STAYING. I am a very impulsive person, getting motivated comes very easy to me. I am a very impulsive person, staying motivated is an ongoing, overwhelming challenge for me. Every avenue of my life gets it's power from my sources of motivation. It also can stop me cold in my tracks when I lose the motivation and drive to continue on. I am continually working hard on finding the balance in all areas but for now the growing awareness is key.
That old saying “misery loves company” rings true to me. Really it is not that I want everyone else to have my challenges with confidence, anxiety, fear or whatever my issue is for the week. It’s that I do not want to be the only one with issues. I want to know my issues are not unique to me. I want to know that I am normal because other people are weird too. Ha, I find this very funny as I like to consider myself just a bit different, colorful if you will, yet I want to know there are others out there with the same quirks as I. For example, like most people I was highly motivated when Oprah met Bob Greene and she made losing weight look so easy. She was looking so svelte in her new size 10 jeans. Wow she was amazing with her stamina and workouts. I wanted to be that fit too! But you can bet your bottom, nothing motivated me more than her admitted weight gain. Actually, it was not her recent weight gain, it was the conversation where she said she could not believe she was still discussing weight issues AGAIN! That she repeatedly lost, gained, struggled, lost, gained the same weight over and over again. Holy shit, I thought Oprah had possessed my mind and that it was my words coming out of Oprah’s mouth. I was so excited, if Oprah with all her power, wealth and resources still struggled with weight, then I was okay. Oprah was just like me. I was not alone in this struggle. That motivated the hell out of me.
One of the ongoing sources of motivation for my weight loss adventure (and trust me, it is an adventure) is the home page on my internet. My home page is Yahoo and I have the weather and all sorts of news. However, recently I moved, world, national, local and entertainment news lower on my page and I put two Weight Watcher posting board forums on the very top. It is the very first thing I see when I sign on the internet. The first forum board is titled: 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community – Needless to say the title alone caught my eye, loved the verbage. I am not sure when this forum was started, however, look at these statistics; Threads: 151,155, Posts: 2,539,235, Members: 78,725. Two friggin million posts. I am not alone! It’s not three fat chicks, it’s a million, plus!
As I read these titles I find comfort in knowing I am just like all the rest. It is not a secret “I struggle with my weight” society. It is a non exclusive society/club that millions belong to . Here is just a few of the post titles; Join me today to get back on track. New to this site, but not new to the struggles of weight loss. motivational tv for weight loss? struggling, need motivation. comfort food when you are sick. The second forum is a Weight Weight Watchers Forum. The lists of postings go on and on and I can relate to, or understand what the posting will be, without even reading it. I know, I have been there. I just find comfort and support in knowing I am not alone. That is an ongoing source of motivation for me. What motivates you? How do you keep it going? I'd love to hear your comments......
For me, first I define the areas that I need motivation to move forward. Second, I find ongoing sources of motivation. Third and most important, I take action!
NOTE TO SELF: Drop the misery – Happiness loves company too!
As I am enjoying my successes I have to stop and think, “What’s my source of motivation and how to do I keep tapping into it?” Getting motivated is easy. Staying motivated, well that’s a whole new ball game. The key word is NOT motivation, it is STAYING. I am a very impulsive person, getting motivated comes very easy to me. I am a very impulsive person, staying motivated is an ongoing, overwhelming challenge for me. Every avenue of my life gets it's power from my sources of motivation. It also can stop me cold in my tracks when I lose the motivation and drive to continue on. I am continually working hard on finding the balance in all areas but for now the growing awareness is key.
That old saying “misery loves company” rings true to me. Really it is not that I want everyone else to have my challenges with confidence, anxiety, fear or whatever my issue is for the week. It’s that I do not want to be the only one with issues. I want to know my issues are not unique to me. I want to know that I am normal because other people are weird too. Ha, I find this very funny as I like to consider myself just a bit different, colorful if you will, yet I want to know there are others out there with the same quirks as I. For example, like most people I was highly motivated when Oprah met Bob Greene and she made losing weight look so easy. She was looking so svelte in her new size 10 jeans. Wow she was amazing with her stamina and workouts. I wanted to be that fit too! But you can bet your bottom, nothing motivated me more than her admitted weight gain. Actually, it was not her recent weight gain, it was the conversation where she said she could not believe she was still discussing weight issues AGAIN! That she repeatedly lost, gained, struggled, lost, gained the same weight over and over again. Holy shit, I thought Oprah had possessed my mind and that it was my words coming out of Oprah’s mouth. I was so excited, if Oprah with all her power, wealth and resources still struggled with weight, then I was okay. Oprah was just like me. I was not alone in this struggle. That motivated the hell out of me.
One of the ongoing sources of motivation for my weight loss adventure (and trust me, it is an adventure) is the home page on my internet. My home page is Yahoo and I have the weather and all sorts of news. However, recently I moved, world, national, local and entertainment news lower on my page and I put two Weight Watcher posting board forums on the very top. It is the very first thing I see when I sign on the internet. The first forum board is titled: 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community – Needless to say the title alone caught my eye, loved the verbage. I am not sure when this forum was started, however, look at these statistics; Threads: 151,155, Posts: 2,539,235, Members: 78,725. Two friggin million posts. I am not alone! It’s not three fat chicks, it’s a million, plus!
As I read these titles I find comfort in knowing I am just like all the rest. It is not a secret “I struggle with my weight” society. It is a non exclusive society/club that millions belong to . Here is just a few of the post titles; Join me today to get back on track. New to this site, but not new to the struggles of weight loss. motivational tv for weight loss? struggling, need motivation. comfort food when you are sick. The second forum is a Weight Weight Watchers Forum. The lists of postings go on and on and I can relate to, or understand what the posting will be, without even reading it. I know, I have been there. I just find comfort and support in knowing I am not alone. That is an ongoing source of motivation for me. What motivates you? How do you keep it going? I'd love to hear your comments......
For me, first I define the areas that I need motivation to move forward. Second, I find ongoing sources of motivation. Third and most important, I take action!
NOTE TO SELF: Drop the misery – Happiness loves company too!
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Good or Bad – What’s Your Habit?
This morning as I was hitting my snooze button repeatedly trying to avoid getting up, I started thinking about habits. Good habits vs. Bad habits. I have many of both, good and bad habits. Not that they necessarily equal good with bad, but it’s amazing how damn hard it is to change a bad habit and how simple it is to drop a good habit. I am especially pondering this since tomorrow is my weigh in day and I am pretty confident the bad habits outweighed the good habits.
Actually I have been struggling trying to find the words to articulate what I am trying to say. Then I realized that a good habit is simply the absence of a bad habit or vice versa. Or perhaps a good habit is action and a bad habit is lack of action. In other words, if I consistently exercise on a regular basis, that’s a good habit. If I never exercise that’s a bad habit. The good habit has many positive results, like the release of endorphins, a stronger healthier body and overall better mood. The bad habit has negative results, like less energy, guilt, tighter clothes, etc. Yet I can drop that good habit in a flash and will struggle endless to try to get myself to turn that bad habit back into a good habit. And I would bet you know exactly what I am talking about.
A good habit I have is not allowing the junk mail to pile up on my desk. When it is a good habit, I open my mail immediately and toss all the junk. I put the bills into a pay folder, it is a very organized and easy system. It’s a good habit that keeps my desk tidy and eliminates the clutter all in less than five minutes. This should not be difficult to be consistent, it has all positive results. You know I bet I only practice this good habit a third of the time. All the other times with lack of action it becomes a “bad” habit and I let that crap pile up on my desk until there literally is not any place left to work. I only saved two to five minutes over a short period of time not addressing the junk mail when it came in. Then I will spend a few hours trying to unbury my desk. Good habit vs. bad habit does not even make sense.
Another good habit is eating a lot of salads. I love salads. I have a few different ones that I like to make. They are delicious, nutritious, they are easy and they are a great way to fill up without a lot of calories. Want to know how often I practice this good habit? Less than the good mail habit. It’s not like I prepare the same damn salad over and over. I have some pretty spectacular and yummy recipes. So why not? Because sometimes I just don’t feel like it? I think this could be only answered by a professional in which I would have spent numerous hours with.
Actually this list could go on and on and on, but I’m not quite sure I want to air all my dirty laundry. And I am pretty sure you would immediately discontinue following these posts. But you get the point. So I guess my best self advice is to just try to practice more good habits than bad and then I will be moving forward with the action.
NOTE TO SELF: Have a Salad Today!
Actually I have been struggling trying to find the words to articulate what I am trying to say. Then I realized that a good habit is simply the absence of a bad habit or vice versa. Or perhaps a good habit is action and a bad habit is lack of action. In other words, if I consistently exercise on a regular basis, that’s a good habit. If I never exercise that’s a bad habit. The good habit has many positive results, like the release of endorphins, a stronger healthier body and overall better mood. The bad habit has negative results, like less energy, guilt, tighter clothes, etc. Yet I can drop that good habit in a flash and will struggle endless to try to get myself to turn that bad habit back into a good habit. And I would bet you know exactly what I am talking about.
A good habit I have is not allowing the junk mail to pile up on my desk. When it is a good habit, I open my mail immediately and toss all the junk. I put the bills into a pay folder, it is a very organized and easy system. It’s a good habit that keeps my desk tidy and eliminates the clutter all in less than five minutes. This should not be difficult to be consistent, it has all positive results. You know I bet I only practice this good habit a third of the time. All the other times with lack of action it becomes a “bad” habit and I let that crap pile up on my desk until there literally is not any place left to work. I only saved two to five minutes over a short period of time not addressing the junk mail when it came in. Then I will spend a few hours trying to unbury my desk. Good habit vs. bad habit does not even make sense.
Another good habit is eating a lot of salads. I love salads. I have a few different ones that I like to make. They are delicious, nutritious, they are easy and they are a great way to fill up without a lot of calories. Want to know how often I practice this good habit? Less than the good mail habit. It’s not like I prepare the same damn salad over and over. I have some pretty spectacular and yummy recipes. So why not? Because sometimes I just don’t feel like it? I think this could be only answered by a professional in which I would have spent numerous hours with.
Actually this list could go on and on and on, but I’m not quite sure I want to air all my dirty laundry. And I am pretty sure you would immediately discontinue following these posts. But you get the point. So I guess my best self advice is to just try to practice more good habits than bad and then I will be moving forward with the action.
NOTE TO SELF: Have a Salad Today!
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