Do You Buy Your Veggies AND Eat Them Too?

Grocery shopping. As much as I love food, you would think this is one of my favorite activities. NOT! When I head into the market I always go in with the best of intentions. I think that if I buy only lots and lots of fresh healthy food, I will only eat healthy, fresh food. I never anticipate that I will let the fresh fruit and vegetables spoil because I made a hundred excuses why not to prepare them. Guess what I always eat first? The one product that will probably last four months in the fridge. The cheese. Oh how I love my cheese. What’s worse is this is not a new pattern. It has been going on for ages. It’s like every trip to the grocery store is a brand new experience. A fresh start on making better food choices, so let’s buy lots of fresh, perishable foods. So I buy the food and make excuses why not to cook or eat them. Oh the guilt and don’t think I don’t hear my mother’s voice – “There are starving children all over the world, now eat your veggies!”

Also, I think every shopping trip is the last one for the next several weeks so I buy excessively. (It’s clearly that same issue of moderation or lack there of). I crack myself up because as I am putting stacks of lettuce, beans, bell peppers tomatoes, cilantro, etc. I know it is not going to last. I am fully aware that it would be impossible to eat everything before it spoils. I would have to be feeding all of Jon and Kate’s plus eight plus their dates and the entire staff too, maybe even the whole damn network in order to not be wasteful.

It’s bad enough that I am an excessive food shopper; I am also a peeping cart watcher. I enjoy peeking into other shopper’s carts. I love to see what food choices they made. God forbid I may have I missed a goodie on special. I am so fascinated with the psychology of humans; I certainly made the wrong career choice. Of course, then I am ashamed to admit how judgmental I am of other peoples shopping choices. I get ticked off when I see some skinny gal pushing a cart loaded with all my favorites such as, numerous types and flavors of breads, all the cheese groups, wine, pastas and a few chocolates too. How dare her! Then there is the one that isn’t skinny and has not one healthy food in her cart. I silently mutter something to myself. I am embarrassed to admit how shallow I can, but truthful too. (Another posting in the works)

Actually since starting this “self-discovery” journey, I have become aware of my shopping habits. And with lots of effort, I really have made significant progress. Wastefulness is not in line with many of my goals. So, I now pretend I am only shopping for three meals in five days. Occasionally I hit the Farmer’s Market. Surprisingly it works! I have cut back tremendously on the waste and I still do not need to shop any more frequently. Apparently, I can use the food in my cupboards to prepare more meals. Let me tell you it takes some serious practice and discipline to not put every colorful piece of fruit into my cart and sometimes I have to make another loop in the store to put items back. As far as the being a cart peeper, well that’s still another story.

NOTE TO SELF: Mind your own business in the market!

Liar Liar Pants on Fire. Who do you Lie to?

Tell me please, what kind of person is honest, loving and faithful to all friends, family and overall most anyone that is in their lives, yet lies to themselves? Now that makes NO sense! Nada. None whatsoever! If you ARE going to lie, you would think it would be to someone that doesn't know you are lying! This is what I am talking about.....

Every day and I mean every day I tell myself, tomorrow, yep tomorrow I am going to stop this food fest of eating all my favorite comfort foods (believe me there are lots and lots of them) , no exercising, sloth like rut that I have gotten myself into. Yep, TOMORROW! So, today since it is my last day, I better eat .........and drink.......and not go for a workout or run, no worries because tomorrow I am going to at least go for a walk! Now I know full well as I am telling this shitty lie to myself, tomorrow is NOT the day! Who does that? I could be lying to any number of people in my life, my boss, my kid, or even my mother, but nope I must be an idiot, because I choose to lie to myself. I do it, I know it and I still believe the lies!

Last night as look back, it was as if I was having an outer body experience. There I was drinking the third glass of red wine, shoveling in my third helping of mashed potatoes with butter (no gravy, I was cutting calories) and the giant helping of store bought roasted turkey breast loaded up with chemicals. Justified every sip, bite and swallow, because it was all about, that's right, tomorrow!
I am like goddamn Annie, Tomorrow, tomorrow there's always tomorrow, you get the idea....

The power of procrastination is not a good thing here, although I am good at it. I have managed to lie my way from a size 8 to a size 12, okay maybe sometimes 14. That's what I am talking about. Honestly, last year I was sporting a size 6. I tell myself, from an 8 to 10/12 that's okay, but I'm not just talking to myself, I am talking to you too. And now that I am being honest when I say it is not about the size, it IS about how I feel. Me being in my body at this weight. I just cannot get comfortable with the extra roll that resides right smack under my breasts and above my lap, even when I sit up straight. If you've ever had one, you know what I am talking about.

So as I write these words, tomorrow is no longer on the plate, it is TODAY! Really I swear to God it is today! Today I am going to the Farmers Market to get some fresh veggies, the grocery store and yes, today is the day I will at least go for a walk. Now if there is no post tomorrow, you'll know I got sucked back in.....

NOTE TO SELF: It's today not tomorrow!