Jumping Hurdles - How High Are Yours?

I had another 1.4 pound weight lost this week! I have made it over my first big hurdle, the ten pound mark. Wooo Whooo! I have twenty five pounds to go to my goal weight. It may be a long slow process, but I am confident it will happen in due time, again! Oh how I love those hurdles.

Apparently, at my average stature of 5’4” I like hurdles. I like jumping over hurdles, whether they be clutter , weight, money , fitness or time management hurdles. If I have jumped it once, I have jumped it again and again. These aren’t just random hurdles that life puts before me. No siree, these are hurdles I place in my own life. They are my personal huddles. I seem to very strategically place them throughout my life so I am constantly trying to get over them. Why? That is a fantastic question to ask myself. Hum, why not get over the hurdle and keep looking forward? Instead of looking back, grabbing that hurdle I thought I just mastered and then reset it smack in front of myself? Right there in my very own future? Geez, I think I mentioned in an earlier post, that there was a good chance you would feel better about yourself after reading my personal insights. How are you feeling now?

If I seriously ask myself the question, why the same hurdles over and over? I think I would have to say “it’s because I truly have not mastered that hurdle, YET.” Once I honestly evaluate the hurdles, I find that each time the hurdle is a bit lower. It is easier and quicker to get over. Eventually that hurdles is eliminated. A good example is smoking. I was a smoker. I loved to smoke. I quit smoking fifty times before I became a non-smoker. That hurdle is no longer in front of me. Another hurdle was being organized. That was another big one for me. Slowly from trial and error, I have just about mastered that one. You seldom will walk into my home and see everything strewed all over the place in an attempt to organize myself, my life.

So for now, I am still jumping some of the same hurdles. Most prominent in my life today is the weight hurdle. I got over the big ten pound mark and my hurdle just got lower. I accept that jumping my personal hurdles equal my personal growth. Sometimes it will be the same hurdles. Sometimes there may be some new ones too. And then there will be times I am just on the straight stretch.


NOTE TO SELF: Keep jumping and eventually you’ll land firm on both feet!

MOTIVATION 1,2,3 - What' Your Source?

I’m doing the happy dance. I’m doing the haaaappy dance! I did it! I could not believe my eyes today when I stepped on the scale and I was down another 1.4 pounds. That puts me at 9 pounds in four weeks. OMG, I could hit the ten pound mark next week. I am so proud of myself; I went on a vacation, indulged, enjoyed and keep my goal in mind when choosing activities and it paid off! I felt no deprivation, I simply made better choices.

As I am enjoying my successes I have to stop and think, “What’s my source of motivation and how to do I keep tapping into it?” Getting motivated is easy. Staying motivated, well that’s a whole new ball game. The key word is NOT motivation, it is STAYING. I am a very impulsive person, getting motivated comes very easy to me. I am a very impulsive person, staying motivated is an ongoing, overwhelming challenge for me. Every avenue of my life gets it's power from my sources of motivation. It also can stop me cold in my tracks when I lose the motivation and drive to continue on. I am continually working hard on finding the balance in all areas but for now the growing awareness is key.

That old saying “misery loves company” rings true to me. Really it is not that I want everyone else to have my challenges with confidence, anxiety, fear or whatever my issue is for the week. It’s that I do not want to be the only one with issues. I want to know my issues are not unique to me. I want to know that I am normal because other people are weird too. Ha, I find this very funny as I like to consider myself just a bit different, colorful if you will, yet I want to know there are others out there with the same quirks as I. For example, like most people I was highly motivated when Oprah met Bob Greene and she made losing weight look so easy. She was looking so svelte in her new size 10 jeans. Wow she was amazing with her stamina and workouts. I wanted to be that fit too! But you can bet your bottom, nothing motivated me more than her admitted weight gain. Actually, it was not her recent weight gain, it was the conversation where she said she could not believe she was still discussing weight issues AGAIN! That she repeatedly lost, gained, struggled, lost, gained the same weight over and over again. Holy shit, I thought Oprah had possessed my mind and that it was my words coming out of Oprah’s mouth. I was so excited, if Oprah with all her power, wealth and resources still struggled with weight, then I was okay. Oprah was just like me. I was not alone in this struggle. That motivated the hell out of me.

One of the ongoing sources of motivation for my weight loss adventure (and trust me, it is an adventure) is the home page on my internet. My home page is Yahoo and I have the weather and all sorts of news. However, recently I moved, world, national, local and entertainment news lower on my page and I put two Weight Watcher posting board forums on the very top. It is the very first thing I see when I sign on the internet. The first forum board is titled: 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community – Needless to say the title alone caught my eye, loved the verbage. I am not sure when this forum was started, however, look at these statistics; Threads: 151,155, Posts: 2,539,235, Members: 78,725. Two friggin million posts. I am not alone! It’s not three fat chicks, it’s a million, plus!

As I read these titles I find comfort in knowing I am just like all the rest. It is not a secret “I struggle with my weight” society. It is a non exclusive society/club that millions belong to . Here is just a few of the post titles; Join me today to get back on track. New to this site, but not new to the struggles of weight loss. motivational tv for weight loss? struggling, need motivation. comfort food when you are sick. The second forum is a Weight Weight Watchers Forum. The lists of postings go on and on and I can relate to, or understand what the posting will be, without even reading it. I know, I have been there. I just find comfort and support in knowing I am not alone. That is an ongoing source of motivation for me. What motivates you? How do you keep it going? I'd love to hear your comments......

For me, first I define the areas that I need motivation to move forward. Second, I find ongoing sources of motivation. Third and most important, I take action!

NOTE TO SELF: Drop the misery – Happiness loves company too!

Do You Know The Rules to Your Game?

I have been playing the weight game for the last eight days and I actually scored a touchdown on the scale this week. Yippee! I lost five pounds after completing my first Weight Watchers weigh in. Let me clarify, this is not my FIRST weigh in, it is my first one THIS time. I never really understood why it’s said the first few pounds shed are just water (sounds like a jealous bitch made that one up). I really don’t care what you call it. What it is, is a lower number than last week on the scale. Since the name of my game is weight loss, it’s a score and I am doing the end zone happy dance.

It’s been proven over and over and over, if you simply follow the Weight Watchers guidelines you will successfully lose weight. If you keep playing by the rules once you scored your final goal on the scale you will maintain your weight loss. Exactly like a Nike commercial…. “Just Do It!”

When I play the weight game, I struggle with following the rules. For some reason I think “this time will be different” as I allow my self to change rules and the game plan. I think I have this privilege because I hold all positions and ownership of this team. The problem is my abuse of power generally gets me into trouble. If I bend the rules long and hard enough, eventually I knock myself right out of the game.

It should be simple to follow these very basic rules.

Do not exceed X number of points per day (calories)
Eat anything you want in limited portions
Eat fresh fruits, vegetables and whole grains
Exercise regularly (4 times per week is good)
Drink plenty of water
Get plenty of rest
Write down everything you eat + all exercise
Plan ahead and you plan for success.

This is not brain surgery. It is a healthy lifestyle that practices moderation. Why on earth I have to make such a big deal about it, I just don’t understand. Yesterday immediately after I weighed in, I decided that I would give myself the old “one free day” rule. Logically, I know that puts me at risk, yet I choose to take weigh in day off from keeping track of what I eat as long as there is a loss on the scale that day. This could go either way. I guess only time will tell. But that’s it, today I put my foot down and no more changing the game. I am geared up for success.

So I remind myself the past has passed and today I have the opportunity to create a new and different history. Pulling all the strength I have to no longer bend the rules but to play the game as it was intended and maybe, just maybe I will stay on this winning streak and totally win the game!

NOTE TO SELF: Just Do It! No, really just do it!

Are We There, YET?

Patience, patience, makes me a mental patient. Seriously, these are a few of the thoughts that have passed through my head at various times today. (For those of you just joining the Blog, On Sunday I started back on Weight Watchers and am in the process of dropping three or four sizes).

1. Why are my pants not fitting a bit looser? It has been what, how long now? Then I count back, One. Two. Oh, so it has only been two days? Wow, it sure feels longer. It really does feel longer.

2. Oooh – I think my skin is looking so much younger since I started eating healthier. Again it has been two days! Count them one, two days. I am like a bad infomercial selling a miracle in a jar and what’s worse, I am buying it!

3. I wonder if I should dig out those cute white Capri pants, maybe they will fit now. (They are a size 8, as of yesterday I was still sporting a 12). Again, it has been two frigging days, what the hell is wrong with me?

4. I should probably try to get my six mile run in this week. (Thinking that I was already back to the fitness level I was at two months ago) because I did do one solid workout on Sunday.

5. Do you think my metabolic rate is increasing? I feel like I am burning more calories.

Can you imagine? No wonder I have been struggling with myself. My perception is so distorted there is nothing realistic about it. I believe I must have gained those thirty pounds one too many times and it has cause brain damage. Obviously my patience has been completely erased from my brain! To be clear, I catch myself and stop cold in my tracks when these absurd thoughts invade my mind. WOW…. Talk about needing to get a grip on reality.

So I need to sit back, take a deep breath and just relax. Let it just be. Because we all know - it is, what it is. I should keep focused on today and eventually the day will come when the pants will fit. When go I out for a six mile run without a second thought. And honestly my skin looks just fine, today.

NOTE TO SELF: Relax and enjoy the journey. You’ll arrive in due time.

Does Your Deprivation Steal Your Motivation?

Woooo Hooooo – Yesterday, I actually did half of what I said I would. This is a huge improvement. Although I must admit, just the thought of deprivation in any way, shape or form, strips me of any motivation. I managed to drag myself to the farmer’s market and the grocery store, planned the weekly meals, however, I just could not convince myself to go for a walk, too tired after the farmers market. Oh yeah, and I didn’t eat any comfort foods, but boy did I ever chow down on random, not fresh, foods. Come on, I was tired after all that shopping. I felt like my blood sugar was a bit off and needed the carbs in those two toasted peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and the giant bowl of kettle corn. In my meal planning found a great recipe for spinach and goat cheese crepes. It called for a half cup of beer in the recipe, so on my grocery list was one light beer. What did I do? You got it. I drank it to wash down those PB&J sandwiches! What’s a girl to do? It was Saturday night and I was thirsty, ha! Oh God, my lies never end. I need to practice “self-honesty” And, let’s not forget what a shinning example I am to my teenage daughter. I say this because I had to make a special stop at the store to get that one beer. The store where we do our major shopping at does not sell individual beers.

It went down like this - As we were driving home from the grocery store. “Oh honey, I have to make a quick stop because I need a beer for the crepes recipe, just wait in the car I’ll be right out.” I run into the little store, grab a single bullet Coors Light and wait patiently in line with the hobos and druggies with their single beers for their crepe recipe too. I am back in the car and sigh, “great, now I have EVERYTHING I need to get myself back on track. We sure picked some yummy meals for the week, I can’t wait to get started.” We get home, we both are putting the groceries away, guess what, I start eyeing that beer. Hum, tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow starts chanting in my mind. No, I will resist, it’s all about TODAY. Move forward two hours, food is put away, I have had the PB& J sandwiches and I am ready to sit and read for a bit. My mind kept going back to the “cold activated blue mountain on that can. Hey why not? So I pop open the beer. My daughter walks through the room, “Hey Mom, I thought you bought that for the crepes,” I looked at her and simply said, Tomorrow…… Then we both burst out laughing. I told her to live by my example would be to not do what I do!

So now it is once again, today. I have all the tools and supplies (minus the beer) and a clear sense of focus in my healthy lifestyle arsenal. I am ready to get down to business. I don’t know how familiar you are with diets (no longer a politically correct word) or nutrition for weight loss plans, whatever the hell you call it, but let me tell you there are thousands of books out there on this subject. I personally have dabbled in at least seven thousand of them. And do you know why don’t they work? (Check out the poll I have listed on the upper right side of the blog). First of all, you have to “follow” the plan more than three weeks. Secondly, you need to be active beyond your daily activities and third it really is just calories in, calories out. I don’t give a damn what you are eating, it is simple math, fuel in vs. fuel burned, remainder is stored. Period. Which is why I always end up back with Weight Watchers. For me it is clearly about how much I eat, not what I eat.


This last weight gain was due to, now don’t laugh, because I told my daughter she had to change her eating habits. Limit the sugars and cut out that processed crap that the big box manufactures are so eager to shove into our children. We listened to Dr. Oz and read every label to ensure the following ingredients were not in the top five. It was the five of five rule – Saturated fat, hydrogenated oils, high- fructose corn syrup, sugars and enriched/bleached flour. Anyway, I thought at that point, if I am eating healthy then I do not need to monitor how much, it is all healthy, right? Healthy, but still calories in vs. calories out. You just can’t have six servings of whole wheat noodles in olive oil and Parmesan cheese and not gain weight. One bite lead to another, soon I wanted more and more noodles, less and less fresh vegetables and fruits, throw in some wine to have with that loaf of 100% whole grain bread and mozzarella cheese and I just don’t feel like going to workout, I will tomorrow. BAM I am up twenty pounds, what the hell, keep on going because I am having so much fun on this food fest the next ten pounds were just “bonus” pounds.

But that was all in the past. Today is today and I am ready to “count my points”, that’s Weight Watcher code talk for calories. One of the reasons I am attracted to WW is because they are tricky liars. For example calories are called points. You track points but not calories. It allows me to practice “self-honesty” without being completely honest. I feel like I am getting one up on myself. You subtract points for food and add points for exercise (fuel in / fuel burned concept) So it’s off to prepare one of my yummy recipes. Trick myself into some exercise, even if it’s minimal, track my points and be happy about it and do what ever it takes to stay motivated, TODAY! Maybe I’ll go into my library of self help books to help keep myself motivated for the day….. Ha ha ha

NOTE TO SELF: Must find a way to change deprivation into motivation!