A loss for words? Ha!

Really? How can I be at a loss for words when I always have so damn much to say. Maybe, just maybe it is my narcissistic ego that consistently gets in my way. I clearly see myself as one of many words and little action. Why is that? I ramble on like I know everything, then sit back and do nothing. Let me back up, I'll take action for a period of time, then kaput I am over it. Shit. It is exhausting being me.

So I ponder the question, over and over and over......What is it that makes someone have clear and definite goals, ambitions and dreams yet, makes certain they are never obtained? It is not intellectual, nor fiscal, just look at Oprah and her weight yo yo. Emotionally just doesn't make sense to me either. Frigging who knows.

What I do know is:

• I've spent my share of time trying to figure out who I am and what makes me tick and still the question remains unanswered.
• I am back to losing the same goddamn 30 pounds that I have shed five times over.
• I still have credit card debt.
• I am the "NEW 30" some days. Other days the 'NEW 40" and some days, just old.

I am here to say, I am still willing to keep asking the questions. Always trying to make it better, and striving for whatever the hell it is I want this week. So here I sit pissing and moaning to me, about me in hopes that I will "see the light within". Ha, that is a crock of shit. This is a wonderfully creative way for me to not do whatever it is I should do....

And don't be to shocked if the blogging stops in, oh let's say three weeks. That generally is my attention span.

NOTE TO SELF: Stay motivated longer than three weeks!